I wanna get high with Trump

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Deck the halls with … full on overload.

Sorry. I am in pre-holiday season “trauma mode,” as I write this, I know it’s coming, and it always does the same thing to my skin: makes it crawl.

I am referring to that first Christmas carol I am going to hear, piped into whatever store I may be in. Why do Christmas carols make me cringe? That is a good question, and one best reserved for my therapist, if I had a therapist, which I don’t. I got you, kid. And you’re looking as beautiful as Cher ever did.

OK, I went away for a few and thought about it (lie: just went and vaped*). Two reasons the first carol I hear makes me cringe. 1. “The sale is on!” Put succinctly: “Consumer Culture Run Amok!” 2. Excuse to be nice to (almost) everyone for a month. Once January arrives, all bets are off. Speaking of bets …

I have lost money on cannabis stocks. (Full admittance: I am not a broker, and I have never played one on TV. I have played other things on TV, but that was another lifetime ago. Google it.) BTW, I am still a firm believer in the cannabis industry, and specifically stocks related to it. Of course, any new massive commodity like marijuana is going to take time to shake itself out. And, it’s not like the popularity of the drug isn’t going to continue to skyrocket, as more and more states move to legalization.

And, if Bernie or Warren can convince Americans to vote for an honest (enough) person, both have plans to federalize, Bernie within 100 days of being sworn in, regardless of Congress. That’s right, Bernie’s signing some papers. It’s funny, I have never been much of a Bernie Bro, but I find myself liking him more after his heart attack. Quick note on Biden: No. Mayor Pete: Perhaps. Russian Spy: More likely.

If you could get high with any of the candidates, who would you choose?

I’d choose Trump. I would love to sit in a room stoned with DJT, and watch him unravel. Maybe we’d end up playing bongos with Woody Harrelson, or a friendly game of Monopoly with Paul Krugman. (NOTE: Trump descalificado de ser el banquero!)

Do you think cannabis helps alleviate anger? Has it for you? Or does it do a really good job of masking it? Why can’t we all just mellow out, man?

What can I say, I just think it would be great if every day was Christmas, not in the commerce sense, but in the sense of kinship. Positive reinforcement for our species instead of instilling fear. Fear never ends well.

Please consider this the day after Jan. 1, 2020 (that would be January 2). Reach out to others, hold doors open, tell people how grateful you are for them in your life, get off your f*cking cell for one minute and connect with whomever is sitting across from you, and smile. Because, whatever goes down in 2020, it’s going to be one helluva year. Especially if Trump doesn’t get high.

(* Rick vapes the ground-up bud in a desktop vape with glass bowl and hospital strength plastic tubing. He does NOT advocate pens!)

Rick Cipes has a band, The Agreeables, and a fashion company, the 420 T-Shirt Collection, at www.420tsc.com.



Summer 2020 TOC:

  • Cannabis Entrepreneurs: The women behind ‘Ladies of Paradise’
  • Terroir: Inside the science of tasty bud
  • Cannabis Cooking: Canna-balls styled after Alice’s ‘Brownies’
  • Retail: Home delivery gets a boost
  • Profile: River City Retail has a winning formula
  • Retail: Pandemic fuels pot-buying explosion
  • Religion: Cannabis for churchgoers
  • Growing: Hardy Seeds in Ashland shares why hemp loves company
  • COVID-19: Hemp farming – ‘It’s a lot safer than working at McDonalds’
  • Retail: Drive-thru bud at La Mota

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