If you remember where we last left off, I had stopped getting high. Well, that didn’t last long.
Single and locked down, I just needed to mellow my life out. Success? Um, not exactly. Because who out there, in today’s society, can safely project the art of “mellow,” unless maybe you’re Matthew McConaughey and getting paid huge sums of money to sell Lincolns to other existential rich folks who happen to like to do their own ice fishing. I mean, definitely, the guy smokes a lot of pot. But I’m getting off track, in the outback with Matthew.
Out of the outback, I am remembering my column at the end of 2019, and how I thought 2020 was going to be one helluva year. I never imagined this kind of hell. So, yeah, I’m back on the weed, and enjoying it immensely.
BTW, I haven’t smoked in over two years. It’s been all vaping for me. And, yes, it seems way gentler on the body than smoking. Wait! Stop! Do not pass go before hearing me out. I am not vaping the pens with the oils, I don’t trust that shit.
I am vaping the actual flower, ground-up and sucked down in a Vaper Brothers device. It looks like an old pencil sharpener, i.e., it does not look cool. And, because it’s not cool, and habit forming, I am not continually puffing on it like I would a joint. I get high to get high, bro. And, my vape device stays in my office and doesn’t accompany me when I am in front of the TV watching COVID-19 and protest horror.
Ah, the sight, man! Will it ever pass? Or are we on a downward spiral?
I was in the 1992 Rodney King riots. Directly in them. I was at a Lakers vs. Blazers playoff game at the Forum in L.A. the night the riots began (Lakers won in double OT). And, let me just say, it was a harrowing experience trying to get out of Inglewood that night. Now, here we are, 28 years later, and I wonder if we’ve made any progress. Is there anything we can hold on to? Like, ya know, “hope?”
I am hoping that this is one of those “10 Steps Back, 11 Forward” periods in our history. In fact, I am not only hoping, but I am going to meditate on it with Matthew McConaughey. In Alaska. Ice fishing. Honestly, I’m not a fan of the cold, but that doesn’t seem like a bad spot to be this summer, ya know, chilled the f*ck out!
Look, no matter what side of the massive divide you fall on, I think there is one thing most of us can agree on (especially if you’re reading this magazine!). Cannabis is pretty awesome, and it actually is helping mellow me out a smig.
Happy Birthday, America! Can’t we all get along?
Rick Cipes’ YouTube comedy videos can be seen at htts://bit.ly/AgreeablesComedy